http://www.kerismith.com/WishJarTales/Journal.htm
"Everybody is original, if they tell the truth, if they speak from their true self. But it must be from their true self and not from the self they think they should be. So remember these two things: you are talented and you are original." -Brenda Ueland
I was first introduced to the artist's journal while attending my first year of art school. I was taking a very inspiring and free form class taught by a young sculpture and installation artist. On the first day we were given one of the few assignments, which was to keep a visual journal. The journal was to include many aspects of daily living, thoughts, new ideas, criticisms, responses, images, objects, etc., whatever we wanted to include. So on my way home from school I stopped in Chinatown and picked up a black and red lined journal for a dollar. We were told not to get something too fancy, preciousness would create a pressure to make the work good. We were to avoid good in favour of quantity. On the inside of the front cover I wrote this:
This book is divided into two parts. This side is my everyday writings. Starting from the back are excerpts/quotes from the books I've been reading. These are a big part of my life from day to day. I wanted the writings from these books to be continuous and uninterrupted by my daily comments.
The first page has the title "Explorations" underneath which is an engraving of a solitary tree in full blossom.
I struggled through the writing part in the beginning, mostly relying on other people's words since I didn't trust my own voice at that point. Several philosophical arguments (bitter feminist rants) are recorded, some from various teachers or whatever book I was into at the time. A quote "Do I dare disturb the universe?" from a Love Song of J.Alfred Prufrock by T.S.Elliot. A map of Judea gleaned from an atlas. In the beginning I worried a lot about how it looked, and what people would think, very aware that someone would be reading it eventually. At the same time there was something about the process that really moved me, I loved the presence of this little world that I carried with me throughout the year, everywhere I went. We developed a relationship, this journal and I. I started to notice that I felt bare if I had mistakenly forgotten it. Because the writing was difficult for me, I just continued to gather things to add to it. Cards from galleries, ticket stubs, random sketches, and quotes. There is a very worn elastic in the middle that originally held many of these items into the book. At the end of the year the instructor noted that he while he enjoyed the collected stuff he would have liked to see more personal insights and feelings. I took note but was really very proud for having actually finished something. Being a chronic "unfinisher" I was used to accumulating many "started" journals, but never any completed ones. The energy going into it was always great, but eventually my attention would waver and I would be on to some other project, a piece of knitting, a watercolour painting, potted plants.
My turning point came when I made a new friend over the Internet; a young, recently published writer named Joanne. We met in a newsgroup on "writing for children", and immediately felt connected to each other. I was doing a lot of caregiving for my mother during that time while she battled cancer (a battle which she lost after two years of hospitalization.) Joanne was older than me and had been through more of the painful jolts that life throws at you than I had. She was the first person I could talk to about my grieving, and always picked me up when I hit the ground flailing. I felt normal when I talked to her, like life was supposed to be this painful. At the time I was travelling back and forth to the hospital every other day, 15 minutes on the streetcar, 35 minutes on the subway, and an hour on the bus. Add to this the waiting in between and you have a lot of time for writing. I started journaling again by writing to my new friend. For some reason this really helped me to get past my writer's block, which was really just a need to write "well". I began by describing my day to her, talking about where I was what I was reading, sharing with her some great quotes or a new tea flavour I has discovered. When I returned home in the evening I would transcribe the letter into an email. Slowly the journal started to take on a life of it's own. As my relationship with Joanne dwindled due to heavy schedules and major life changes my new connection with the journal continued.
The journal provides a safe haven for creation, a place to experiment and push ourselves, to develop new ideas without fear of judgement or the pressure to do things well. In this way it acts much like art school did for me, a place of becoming. In it we can give ourselves permission to vent, spew, complain, and be to ourselves. By adding the visual aspect it becomes a container for our experiences, we can use it to collect, to document, or just be. The journal is an excellent vehicle for seeing what we are responding to, to see our own unique voice. I believe we become more in tune with our inner world when we become our own research projects.
Watching a journal fill up and evolve is like seeing the pieces of a mosaic come together to form a whole. All the pages take on different forms and colours they show different sides of a distinct personality. At first the process seems overwhelming, the blank pages confront you, but slowly pieces get added, new ideas emerge, and it evolves into a beautiful tapestry of your experience. And because it serves as a playground we can allow it to be what it is, not necessarily a precious object, but a thing to be reinvented every day. Start new; start fresh as much as possible. Push yourself into new and strange places. Think of it like being in a large clothing shop; allow yourself to try on something completely outrageous, a bright green sari, a spacesuit, a red satin evening gown, a tiara. Maybe you have a secret passion, a love of medieval paintings, an interest in erotic literature, a vision of a more passionate you, try it on via the journal. No one will see it but you. Just have fun.
What I like about the visual journal is that it records your daily life but includes texture, colour and life. After a while you start to see the world with "journalistic" eyes as a reporter might, taking in the small and colourful details that make up a good story. You become more tuned into your surroundings. When I first started out with the journal I wanted to be like someone else, wishing I was a better writer, a better artist. But after doing it for a few years I notice things have shifted for me and now I just want to be as much of myself as I can. I take joy in being myself. Closer to the truth.
Keri Smith is a free-lance illustrator and native of Toronto. A graduate of O.C.A. she has a wide following of clients in North America and Japan. She currently resides in a “magic” cottage in Flesherton, painting, illustrating, creating, writing, and living out loud. Her first children's books, entitled Story in a Box have just been published by Chronicle Books.
16.9.06
managing chaos
http://www.kerismith.com/WishJarTales/chaos.htm
Managing Chaos
Isn't it funny how we all seem to look at other people's lives and say, "Wow, it must be nice to live like that, they have it all figured out." Last week I received an email from a woman who boldly admitted that she wished her life was more like mine (i.e.. financially well off, successful career, care free days). When I read that I snorted, almost shooting hot coffee out my nose. I must admit that I do it too. I look at people I admire from afar and say, "how nice to live like that." Not that I would trade what I have for anything, I pride myself on having created a life that I wanted (I work hard at it). But I am far from feeling care-free. Sometimes I wake up and say, "When am I going to feel like the adult who has everything under control? Everything organized." Somehow I can never keep up with all that I have to do, I feel like I am playing catch up a lot of the time.
This week I have decided to tackle something I have been avoiding for too long, my finances. When you push something off for a while it turns into a large and hairy ogre whose shadow hangs over everything. I have found that when you actually start to make money it becomes a lot harder to manage it. In my field you have to balance your funds over the times when you have no cash flow, it happens all the time. Last month was particularly tight. And you have to be very careful not to spend everything that comes in, because some of it has to go to pay taxes. That requires a lot of organization, which I struggle with. Actually, I suck at it. To be fair I was never really taught how to manage my finances. And I have never seen a course on "How to Manage a Non Regular Income -(or) Dealing with the Fits and Spurts". (If you have let me know). I seem to have this pattern of being so completely organized and efficient for around 5 months of the year, after that it starts to go downhill, eventually snowballing into a large overwhelming pile. By that time you feel so ashamed, because just a few months ago you were the "Queen of finances", telling everyone how wonderfully organized you were, and giving them tips on how to do the same.
One thing I've noticed is that when I start to avoid something in my life, it manifests into my physical world in some way. Usually in the form of a mess in some corner of my house. For the last six months there have been piles of paper forming in my studio. I didn't notice them at first, sort of pretended they weren't there. But now as I begin to face the books, I find myself needing to clean out everything. Give myself a new fresh breathable space. This is really the basis for Feng Shui, that your emotional world relates directly to your physical one in many ways. I don't think it's a coincidence that I feel the urge to do both things at once. I love the idea of purging months of build up of papers and magazines. I even bought some new brightly colored bins from Ikea for the task. Ever notice how when you are about to start a new creative project you all of the sudden feel this huge urge to clear your workspace? This is apparently because the right brain requires "breathing room" to function. I used to wonder if this was just a form of procrastination, but now I actually embrace it as part of the process of creation.
I am learning that I may never realize that earlier vision of becoming an adult and having everything under control. Like the perception we have of other people's lives being better than our own, it doesn't exist. That is why I love reading about other people who are running their own business. Hearing how they deal with the daily chaos helps me to feel normal. We all have it. I know that at some level I will have to ask for help in certain areas, (I have had a hard time finding an accountant that I feel comfortable with). The goal now is to make things better, more manageable. So I begin my descent into my own chaos one little piece at a time. The deeper I go into it I realize it may not be as scary as I thought. The present moment is a lot less intimidating than a perception of the future that does not actually exist. It all begins with me turning on my laptop and opening the accounting program.
Managing Chaos
Isn't it funny how we all seem to look at other people's lives and say, "Wow, it must be nice to live like that, they have it all figured out." Last week I received an email from a woman who boldly admitted that she wished her life was more like mine (i.e.. financially well off, successful career, care free days). When I read that I snorted, almost shooting hot coffee out my nose. I must admit that I do it too. I look at people I admire from afar and say, "how nice to live like that." Not that I would trade what I have for anything, I pride myself on having created a life that I wanted (I work hard at it). But I am far from feeling care-free. Sometimes I wake up and say, "When am I going to feel like the adult who has everything under control? Everything organized." Somehow I can never keep up with all that I have to do, I feel like I am playing catch up a lot of the time.
This week I have decided to tackle something I have been avoiding for too long, my finances. When you push something off for a while it turns into a large and hairy ogre whose shadow hangs over everything. I have found that when you actually start to make money it becomes a lot harder to manage it. In my field you have to balance your funds over the times when you have no cash flow, it happens all the time. Last month was particularly tight. And you have to be very careful not to spend everything that comes in, because some of it has to go to pay taxes. That requires a lot of organization, which I struggle with. Actually, I suck at it. To be fair I was never really taught how to manage my finances. And I have never seen a course on "How to Manage a Non Regular Income -(or) Dealing with the Fits and Spurts". (If you have let me know). I seem to have this pattern of being so completely organized and efficient for around 5 months of the year, after that it starts to go downhill, eventually snowballing into a large overwhelming pile. By that time you feel so ashamed, because just a few months ago you were the "Queen of finances", telling everyone how wonderfully organized you were, and giving them tips on how to do the same.
One thing I've noticed is that when I start to avoid something in my life, it manifests into my physical world in some way. Usually in the form of a mess in some corner of my house. For the last six months there have been piles of paper forming in my studio. I didn't notice them at first, sort of pretended they weren't there. But now as I begin to face the books, I find myself needing to clean out everything. Give myself a new fresh breathable space. This is really the basis for Feng Shui, that your emotional world relates directly to your physical one in many ways. I don't think it's a coincidence that I feel the urge to do both things at once. I love the idea of purging months of build up of papers and magazines. I even bought some new brightly colored bins from Ikea for the task. Ever notice how when you are about to start a new creative project you all of the sudden feel this huge urge to clear your workspace? This is apparently because the right brain requires "breathing room" to function. I used to wonder if this was just a form of procrastination, but now I actually embrace it as part of the process of creation.
I am learning that I may never realize that earlier vision of becoming an adult and having everything under control. Like the perception we have of other people's lives being better than our own, it doesn't exist. That is why I love reading about other people who are running their own business. Hearing how they deal with the daily chaos helps me to feel normal. We all have it. I know that at some level I will have to ask for help in certain areas, (I have had a hard time finding an accountant that I feel comfortable with). The goal now is to make things better, more manageable. So I begin my descent into my own chaos one little piece at a time. The deeper I go into it I realize it may not be as scary as I thought. The present moment is a lot less intimidating than a perception of the future that does not actually exist. It all begins with me turning on my laptop and opening the accounting program.
wish jar tales
"If you want to work on your art, work on your life"
Chekov
http://www.kerismith.com/WishJarTales/WishJarTales.htm
Chekov
http://www.kerismith.com/WishJarTales/WishJarTales.htm
how to be a guerilla artist
http://www.kerismith.com/funstuff/guerilla.htm
Guerilla art is a fun and insidious way of sharing your vision with the world. It is a method of art making which entails leaving anonymous art pieces in public places. It can be done for a variety of reasons, to make a statement, to share your ideas, to send out good karma, or just for fun. My current fascination with it stems from a belief in the importance of making art without attachment to the outcome. To do something that has nothing to do with making money, or listening to the ego.
My first experience with being a guerilla artist was in my first year of art school in a class taught by conceptual artist Shirley Yanover. One of our assignments was to create some form of graffiti in a public place (we were allowed to choose the were and how). We went out in groups of four, (two lookouts, and two painters), and proceeded to make our mark on various blank walls across the city. The experience made me terrified and exhilarated at the same time. I wrote quotes from various authors along the bottoms of buildings, on phone booths, and on the sidewalks. I remember the feeling of daring as we sprinted away from unsuspecting police officers.
Now I am not necessarily advocating that you do anything illegal or potentially life threatening. But there is something wonderfully sneaky about leaving some form of art in public places. I like knowing that at some point in time someone might receive a little surprise in the form of a random message from a stranger, or a doodle in an unexpected place. I remember there used to be an artist in Toronto who would bolt text books and old phone books to various things. It became a personal quest of mine to find them all, and I always felt so excited when a new one showed up just under my nose. Experiment with your own ideas.
Possible Formats
1. Sidewalk chalk
2. Sticker art
3. Flyers/posters (see "make a flyer of your day" at learningtoloveyoumore. Here is mine, page 1, page 2, page 3.
4. Journals (pass it on)
5. Zines
6. Object leave behinds (money, gifts, junk)
7. Notes (slogans)
8. Graffiti
9. Book inserts (library)
10. Book leave behinds (bookcrossing)
11. Letters (possibly love letters to strangers)
12. The age old 'message in a bottle', or a balloon. Or if you are really adventurous you might be drawn to carrier pigeons.
Potential Ideas for subject matter
-any form of artwork (drawings, collage, doodles, paintings)
-recipes
-photos
-good luck charms
-fortunes
-quotes
-variations on a theme
-many guerilla artist are politically motivated and find that being anonymous allows them to be more controversial or extreme with their message. Popular with activists.
Further reading:
guerillart.org
The original guerilla girls
Mysterious figures show up on a campus.
Potato: Guerilla Art
Jeff Claassen
Guerilla art is a fun and insidious way of sharing your vision with the world. It is a method of art making which entails leaving anonymous art pieces in public places. It can be done for a variety of reasons, to make a statement, to share your ideas, to send out good karma, or just for fun. My current fascination with it stems from a belief in the importance of making art without attachment to the outcome. To do something that has nothing to do with making money, or listening to the ego.
My first experience with being a guerilla artist was in my first year of art school in a class taught by conceptual artist Shirley Yanover. One of our assignments was to create some form of graffiti in a public place (we were allowed to choose the were and how). We went out in groups of four, (two lookouts, and two painters), and proceeded to make our mark on various blank walls across the city. The experience made me terrified and exhilarated at the same time. I wrote quotes from various authors along the bottoms of buildings, on phone booths, and on the sidewalks. I remember the feeling of daring as we sprinted away from unsuspecting police officers.
Now I am not necessarily advocating that you do anything illegal or potentially life threatening. But there is something wonderfully sneaky about leaving some form of art in public places. I like knowing that at some point in time someone might receive a little surprise in the form of a random message from a stranger, or a doodle in an unexpected place. I remember there used to be an artist in Toronto who would bolt text books and old phone books to various things. It became a personal quest of mine to find them all, and I always felt so excited when a new one showed up just under my nose. Experiment with your own ideas.
Possible Formats
1. Sidewalk chalk
2. Sticker art
3. Flyers/posters (see "make a flyer of your day" at learningtoloveyoumore. Here is mine, page 1, page 2, page 3.
4. Journals (pass it on)
5. Zines
6. Object leave behinds (money, gifts, junk)
7. Notes (slogans)
8. Graffiti
9. Book inserts (library)
10. Book leave behinds (bookcrossing)
11. Letters (possibly love letters to strangers)
12. The age old 'message in a bottle', or a balloon. Or if you are really adventurous you might be drawn to carrier pigeons.
Potential Ideas for subject matter
-any form of artwork (drawings, collage, doodles, paintings)
-recipes
-photos
-good luck charms
-fortunes
-quotes
-variations on a theme
-many guerilla artist are politically motivated and find that being anonymous allows them to be more controversial or extreme with their message. Popular with activists.
Further reading:
guerillart.org
The original guerilla girls
Mysterious figures show up on a campus.
Potato: Guerilla Art
Jeff Claassen
10 ways to infuse your work with your personality
http://www.kerismith.com/blog/archives/2004_05.html
1. Document what you are responding to regularly. *journal/sketchbook, blog, listmaking, photo journal, bulletin board collage, internet bookmarks, Allow yourself to go deeper into an idea. Find influence outside of your field. Consider that you are ALWAYS working for yourself.
2. Start to challenge yourself on a regular basis to try new things, (not just for work. *i.e. new foods, colors, processes, classes, travel, become a guerilla artist, etc. Your hobbies are your greatest source of play.)
3. Go back to your childhood, (the formative years). What were your favourite things to do? In this lies some clues as to where you want to focus your energy as an adult. What makes you burst with energy?
4. Do something that is not for money. For your own enjoyment. (Your greatest work will come from here!)
*examples…
-newsletter
-zine
-website
-x-mas card
-product concept
-toys
-gifts for friends.
Design for yourself. *See handout on guerilla art.
5. Use sources that are based on your daily life. Your life IS your art. What are the things that are most important in your current life?
6. Become a collector. Collecting allows us to look at one thing in a contemplative & mindful way. Giving you new insights and perceptions. Examples: Maria Kalman -purse contents, Steven Guarnaccia -shoe sole
rubbings, Ian Phillips & Grant Heaps -Lost & Found pet posters, Mark Ulriksen (former art director) -misspellings of his name, Charles & Rae Eames -toys from other countries
7. "Pay no attention to the man behind that curtain." Ignore what other people are doing. It has no bearing on your existence or vision of the world. The times we feel the most discouraged are usually due to the fact we are comparing ourselves to others. Most times reading awards annuals, and industry mags only serves to make us feel inadequate. Try cutting it out entirely. Designer Bruce Mau recommends not entering awards competitions. His reasoning, “Just don’t do it, it’s not good for you.”
8. Don't promote to target your audience. By all means send things out into the world, but don't think in terms of "promoting to get work". Send stuff out because -you're proud of it, -you want to share something with the world, -it's fun to get mail, -to have good karma, -you want to spread your germs, -you like licking stamps. Try sending a postcard of something you made for fun, (i.e. directions on how to make a finger puppet). When thinking of subject matter for promotions look to your current life. If you deal with topics that are important to you a piece will have much more life to it.
9. Take a lighthearted approach (Don't take yourself too seriously). If you feel stuck, you can always reinvent yourself, (re: try something else).
10. Study other artists or creators who followed their own vision. Research.
1. Document what you are responding to regularly. *journal/sketchbook, blog, listmaking, photo journal, bulletin board collage, internet bookmarks, Allow yourself to go deeper into an idea. Find influence outside of your field. Consider that you are ALWAYS working for yourself.
2. Start to challenge yourself on a regular basis to try new things, (not just for work. *i.e. new foods, colors, processes, classes, travel, become a guerilla artist, etc. Your hobbies are your greatest source of play.)
3. Go back to your childhood, (the formative years). What were your favourite things to do? In this lies some clues as to where you want to focus your energy as an adult. What makes you burst with energy?
4. Do something that is not for money. For your own enjoyment. (Your greatest work will come from here!)
*examples…
-newsletter
-zine
-website
-x-mas card
-product concept
-toys
-gifts for friends.
Design for yourself. *See handout on guerilla art.
5. Use sources that are based on your daily life. Your life IS your art. What are the things that are most important in your current life?
6. Become a collector. Collecting allows us to look at one thing in a contemplative & mindful way. Giving you new insights and perceptions. Examples: Maria Kalman -purse contents, Steven Guarnaccia -shoe sole
rubbings, Ian Phillips & Grant Heaps -Lost & Found pet posters, Mark Ulriksen (former art director) -misspellings of his name, Charles & Rae Eames -toys from other countries
7. "Pay no attention to the man behind that curtain." Ignore what other people are doing. It has no bearing on your existence or vision of the world. The times we feel the most discouraged are usually due to the fact we are comparing ourselves to others. Most times reading awards annuals, and industry mags only serves to make us feel inadequate. Try cutting it out entirely. Designer Bruce Mau recommends not entering awards competitions. His reasoning, “Just don’t do it, it’s not good for you.”
8. Don't promote to target your audience. By all means send things out into the world, but don't think in terms of "promoting to get work". Send stuff out because -you're proud of it, -you want to share something with the world, -it's fun to get mail, -to have good karma, -you want to spread your germs, -you like licking stamps. Try sending a postcard of something you made for fun, (i.e. directions on how to make a finger puppet). When thinking of subject matter for promotions look to your current life. If you deal with topics that are important to you a piece will have much more life to it.
9. Take a lighthearted approach (Don't take yourself too seriously). If you feel stuck, you can always reinvent yourself, (re: try something else).
10. Study other artists or creators who followed their own vision. Research.
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